From Overwhelmed to Organized: How Meal Planning Eased the Mental Load

I perpetually grapple with the notorious 'invisible workload,' now commonly referred to as the mental load. This load encompasses a myriad of responsibilities: laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning, household chores, managing school activities, coordinating playdates, scheduling medical appointments, preparing school lunches, organizing leisure outings, mediating conflicts, teaching the intricacies of right and wrong, providing constant guidance, answering countless questions, orchestrating family dinners and vacations, never forgetting birthdays, and diligently tracking deadlines, among other things.

I felt like I was losing my mind when the weight of the mental load first started to take its toll, particularly when my first son was approaching his first year of life. All of a sudden I was more anxious, sleeping less, I had more headaches, muscle tension and loss of interest in the day to day. I was in survival mode, then Covid hit and the symptoms brought on by my new responsibilities just became the new norm. Everyone that I knew was anxious and living in a state of fear or survival.

When we, as a society, begin to emerge from our homes and life began to return to a semblance of normal, I got my wake up call. Because even though I was no longer fearful of every high touch surface I came in contact with, I was still dealing with the anxieties brought on by parenting. I couldn't continue on in survival mode. It's no way to exist, because all that fear and anxiety was making me short tempered, easily triggered, apprehensive, sad and sometimes even angry. Enough was enough.

As I realized the toll the mental load was taking on my well-being, I knew it was time for a change. With the guidance of a psychologist, I traced many of my symptoms back to the unrelenting burden of parenting responsibilities. Over the past several months, I've embarked on a journey to alleviate this mental load and regain control of my life. Along the way, I've discovered various strategies that have made a significant difference. One such strategy that has been a game-changer in my daily routine is meal planning.

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Meal planning isn't just putting dinner on the table; it's taking control of your time, reducing stress, and freeing up time to embrace quality moments with your family.

Below, I will share my approach to meal planning. It's a method that has not only brought structure and simplicity to my daily life but has also helped me carve out more quality time for my family. I understand that every family is unique, and what works for one might not work for another, but my hope is that by sharing my insights, you can find inspiration and adapt these ideas to your own needs and preferences.

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Every month I start off by sitting down with my planner, my goal is to complete the meal plan for the month in one sitting. This is usually where Dad comes in with a trip to the park or a fun activity to get the boys out of the house so that I can buckle down and knock it out. Depending on the month, I may not complete the meal plan to 100%, but remember we are not striving for perfection we are only aiming to lessen the mental load.

I begin by writing out [B, L, D] (Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner) in each square.

​1. B: L: D:

​​2. B: L: D:

​​3. B: L: D:

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[B] Breakfast:

I have two little men at home age 5 & 2. So planning out breakfast helps alleviate the mental load for me. However, If breakfast doesn't contribute to your daily mental load, it's advisable to omit it from your planner. I often find it helpful to remind myself of the wisdom that 'If it doesn't serve a purpose, it's best left out.' While it may seem like a good idea, especially for those of us who thrive on organization, in reality, it can inadvertently consume more time than it's worth. This will apply to lunch as well.

Streamlining breakfast is possible for me because we have a constant rotation of breakfast ideas that get repeated throughout the month. Currently on rotation I have:

Main: Cinnamon Toast Biscuit w/ Cheese Peanut Butter w/ Choc. Chips Fruity Cereal

Protein: Sausage Bacon Yogurt

Fruit: Strawberry Blueberries Oranges

I then combine (Main, Protein & Fruit) to make a meal with variations. For example:

B: Cinnamon Toast w/ Sausage & Blueberries

B: Biscuit w/ Cheese w/ Bacon & Oranges

B: Cereal w/ Yogurt & Strawberries

This could also look like:

B: Cinnamon Toast w/ Bacon & Strawberries

B: Biscuit w/ Cheese w/ Sausage & Blueberries

Quite easily I can mix and match and fill out all the days of the month.

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[L] Lunch:

During the summer, the approach becomes more flexible, whereas throughout the school year, I strictly follow a structured rotation plan. Since my boys attend school only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, Mondays and Fridays offer a touch more freedom and adaptability.

Mondays: We usually go with the usual suspects. Chick-fil-a, Whataburger, BBQ, PB&J and pretty much any easy on the go meal.

[Mondays are our errand days where we do our grocery shopping, car wash, or sometimes we use it as a chore day if I wasn't able to tackle any over the weekend. So something quick & easy is crucial on Mondays.]

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday: These are our rotation days.

Tuesdays: Sandwich Day (Pretty simple day)

Main: Turkey Sandwich Ham Sandwich

Side 1: Potato Chips Doritos Fritos

Side 2: Oranges Strawberries Grapes

Wednesdays: Hot Food Day

Main: Amy's Pizza Rolls Macaroni & Cheese Chicken Nuggets

Side 1: Cheese Sticks Crackers Waffle Fry Chips

Side 2: Oranges Strawberries Grapes

Thursdays: Treat Day

Main: Zucchini Bread Oatmeal Bake Bread

Side 1: Cheese Sticks Yogurt

Side 2: Strawberries Grapes Blueberries

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[D] Dinner:

Dinner is usually the hardest to plan, as I am planning for everyone's appetites instead of just the boys. This is the portion of the meal plan that definitely has some gaps, but I still aim to fill out as much as possible as this will help free up some more quality family time.

What helps is pulling meals from past months (particularly family favorites). I also insert cheat days (take out) & treat days (going out to eat at your favorite family restaurant).

I recommend incorporating cheat days into your monthly plan to help alleviate some additional stress. For example, if you know that Wednesdays tend to be hectic, consider scheduling takeout occasionally during the month to simplify Wednesdays. On the calendar you can either plan out what the Cheat meal will be or simply just right "Cheat Day".

Regarding treat days, in our household, we have a tradition of dining out at our beloved taco restaurant for both breakfast and lunch every Friday. (Although we might need to reevaluate this practice with the current surge in grocery prices, my love for a delectable taco remains unwavering.) The concept of treat days isn't just a delight for the children but also a self-indulgent pick-me-up for you. There are days when the mere anticipation of 'Taco Friday' brightens my spirits, especially during challenging weeks. (I'm indeed a dedicated taco enthusiast!) Just as you would with the Cheat Day you could plan in advance, which works best in our household so there is no debate on the day of, or simplify the process by writing "Treat Day".

I know dinner ideas can be hard to come, my go to website for tasty dinner ideas is cookingclassy.com. Sometimes just finding a website that fits your family's style with a great variety of recipes makes all the difference in planning.

Meal planning, as I've shared, serves as a powerful tool for lessening the mental load, particularly for busy moms like us. Through careful preparation, we can reclaim precious moments, alleviate stress, and create space for what truly matters. Meal planning empowers us to take back control over our time and energy, affording us the freedom to craft memorable experiences with our families. As we embark on this meal planning journey together, it's important to remember that even small steps can lead to remarkable transformations.